Today’s ‘modernistic’ societies have opened the doors to a totally different perception about relationships, particularly the marital relationships. New standards of “living together”, divorce, and remarriages have created an appealing option for people who no longer want to take the ‘extra mile’ of saving their relationships, thus the uncontrolled separation in relationships.
At this very moment, there are a lot of couples taking the transition between marriage and separation, which can come in different forms and motives. For some people, separation in relationship is a preparation stage for the divorce process. On the other hand, there are those couples who view separation in relationship as a means of making space and reducing the tension of the commitment so they can make up their mind on whether the marriage can be salvaged.
When a marital relationship looks as if it’s falling apart, separation in relationship can be a method for couples to dig up a more objective analysis of themselves and the advantage and disadvantages of the relationship, thereby giving each other the chance for understanding.
Here are some guidelines to put in mind when choosing separation in relationship as a change period that will show the way to either compromise or divorce:
Make a tangible plan. There is more to separation than merely being away from each other and disconnecting. Besides the emotional factors of separation, there the matter on financial, children, and household responsibilities, and couples need to talk about them and think them over.
Focus on balance. Separation in relationship is a period when couples can go into their own different places and think their over their relationship crisis, and honestly look into resolution or divorce.
Be honest. After one is able to rethink and balance the relationship, and still feels that absolute separation is needed on his or her part, being honest about it and communicating it is very important. Holding back these feelings is unfair to the other just because one fears the reaction of the other or the guilt.
A new start. Contrary to some couples ending in divorce of the separation stage, some couples realize how much they need and value the relationship, resulting to new desires that would make the relationship much stronger and healthier.
A respectful ending. If for whatever reason, the separation stage does not help reconciliation and results to divorce, then the best way is to accept the other’s decision and begin the necessary legal steps. Anger although a natural reaction, should not be allowed to hinder the process as this would further add pain and frustration.
Separation in relationship should not always be taken the negative way, more often than not, they become ways of re-energized, stronger, and more valued relationships.
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